Be a Quality (Divorced) Parent
Especially when you live far away from your Children
After a divorce, one of the parents may find it is necessary to relocate due to getting away from old memories or a change in job status. It is still possible to be a quality parent when you live far away from your children. Make sure they understand you didn’t move to get away from them. They will need to know this from you. Don’t assume they know it because too many children do end up blaming themselves for such factors after a divorce occurs.
Let your children know where you will be moving to and why. Let them know how they can get into contact with you. This way they won’t feel abandoned in any way. If there is a time change between where you live and where they live, make sure they know about that too. This way they will have the best chances of getting in touch with you.
Do all you can to stay connected with your kids. They should feel like they can call you any time of the day or night. They should have your home number as well as a cell phone number. If the long distance charges are a problem for the other parent, then send your children a prepaid phone card. You should attempt to be in contact with them at least every couple of days, even if it is only to talk for a few minutes.
Take some time to stay interested in what your children are doing. Find out what is going on at school. Ask about their friends and their activities. If they are involved in sports then ask them to let you know about the games. A digital camera is a great way to send pictures to each other. Email can also allow you to send messages on a regular basis to them. Don’t forget the old-fashioned letter or even some cards too so they will know you are thinking of them.
It is going to take some good scheduling and planning to see your children when you live far away. It isn’t fair to ask for them to come out every holiday, spring break, Christmas break, and for the summer. They will want to spend some of that downtime with the parent they life with. Depending on their age, they will also want to spend some of that time with their friends.
It may be more cost-effective for you to travel to where they are then it will be to bring them to you. It depends on how far away you are and how many children you have. They ages of the children matter as younger ones often have a difficult time traveling. Most airlines do allow older children to fly alone but this can be hard for parents to accept.
Some parents that live far away from their children feel the only way to show they care is to send expensive gifts. While those are a nice bonus, that isn’t what it is all about. Your children want to know that you love them and that you care about them. They want to know that no matter how many miles are between you, they have a loving and support parent that is always there for them.